The Door at the Top of the Stairs Read online

  "Jesse?"

  She turned and Morgan threw her some keys. "Wait in the truck. We'll be out after a while."

  Jesse climbed into the bed of the truck and sat leaning against the cab. The second passage from Ayn Rand's book came to mind, and she tried to distract herself by watching the people milling around outside the meeting. A picture flashed of a whip lacerating a man's back, and she shook her head to clear it. Two small boys ran past the truck shooting bullets out of their fingers and she smiled at their antics as she put her head back and closed her eyes.

  Immediately the whip cut through the muscles on her back and she gasped out loud.

  She jerked her eyes open and searched the street for Ryland, needing to find her before she lost control and made a fool of herself. Memories were slipping out on their own, and when she stepped through the door of the meeting house, she started to panic as the dirt room began to form around her. A pain shot through her head. She pushed her fingers deep into her temples and leaned against the door jamb for support as she frantically looked around for Ryland or Morgan, not caring which one she found.

  Morgan was discussing one of her problem hounds with a member of her hunt staff when someone rudely pushed into her from behind. She stepped forward to give the other person room to get by and looked over her shoulder to see who it was. She saw Jesse barely holding it together, sweat running down her face, her fingers squeezing her head. Morgan reached around and pulled Jesse's head into her chest. "I've got you. You're okay." Morgan turned to the women she'd been speaking with. "Could you find Ryland and ask her to meet us at the truck, please?"

  The woman, Mary Gephardt, watched Jesse for a few seconds, then asked, “Does she need a doctor?"

  "No, she's fine. If you'd just get Ryland, we'll be on our way home."

  Mary held Morgan's eyes, politely refraining from asking the many questions running through her head. She'd fox hunted with Morgan for more than twenty years, had known her practically her entire thirty-five years, and they'd been through enough stressful situations together that Mary trusted her implicitly. She nodded and went looking for Ryland.

  Morgan helped Jesse to the truck and got her up into the seat.

  Ryland and Mary came out a few minutes later and Ryland stepped to the passenger door. "Hey, Kiddo. Headache?"

  Jesse nodded once.

  "What were you thinking about?"

  "The book. I...I didn't mean...to." She tried to control her breathing, but the pain was so intense she couldn't concentrate.

  Groaning, she slid sideways until her head was resting on the bench seat.

  Ryland went around to the driver's side and leaned in so she could get her face close to Jesse's ear. "Jesse, you're all right. I want you to listen to me and do exactly as I say. You have to stop the memories from slipping out on their own. Picture your balloon with the stones, and picture you and Morgan closing the hole where the stones are coming out."

  "I can't."

  Ryland waited a second, then backed out of the cab and spoke to Morgan, who was on the other side of the truck. “Can you slide in on the floor and let her know you're there?" She smiled. “This isn't the optimal location for therapy, but we'll have to make do."

  Morgan raised her eyebrows, then looked at the floorboard.

  She scowled as she glanced back at Ryland, then leaned in and inched her way across the floor until she was even with Jesse's head. She put her hand on Jesse's shoulder at the same time Ryland leaned in and repeated what she'd just said. Morgan rubbed Jesse's back and said. “We'd better get that hole closed up pretty quick, Kid, ‘cause I'm not staying in here like this for very long."

  Ryland chuckled and Jesse opened one eye and squinted at Morgan through the pain. She tried to smile, and as she held Morgan's eyes, she pictured them working together to seal the hole and stop the stones. Gradually her breathing eased until the pain receded to the normal throbbing she'd lived with for so long.

  "The pain's going away?" Ryland reached over and ran her hand through Jesse's hair.

  Jesse nodded.

  Morgan eased her way out of the truck and smiled at Mary, who'd been watching the three of them while they were in the truck. Ryland came back to the passenger side and slipped her arm around Mary's waist. "Thank you for not asking questions. She'll be fine."

  Mary nodded, then shook her head. They all watched as Jesse sat up and wiped the sweat from her face with her sleeve.

  Ryland said. “So is the pain manageable now?"

  "Yeah."

  "Good, then come back inside with us while we finish visiting."

  Three sets of eyes locked on Ryland and she chuckled. “How many times do I have to say it? Trust me."

  Jesse looked at Morgan, who shrugged. “You heard the lady.

  Let's go."

  The four of them walked back inside, and Ryland pointed to the back table and told Jesse to get some food. Jesse noticed Mary watching her, and as their eyes met and held, Jesse felt a light color rise in her cheeks. She guessed Mary was in her mid-thirties, although it was hard to tell. She was about Jesse's height, 5'6", with golden-brown skin and high cheekbones that accentuated the air of confidence Jesse admired in a woman. Her black hair was short and wavy and, Jesse thought, an incredible contrast to the women's piercing grey eyes.

  Jesse stepped around her and walked over to the food table.

  There was a variety of colorful fruits laid out on platters at one end of the table. She picked up a toothpick and stabbed a few cantaloupe and Kiwis and dropped them onto her plate. Homemade breads and rolls were next, and just as she reached for a piece of banana bread, someone shoved her from behind. As she fell into the table, she dropped the plate and turned, unsure what had happened.

  Jake Tate stood behind her, his lip curled into a sneer. “Oh excuse me, did I bump you?"

  Jesse was in the process of pulling her fist back when a curly head stepped between her and Tate and shoved him backward.

  Mary Gephardt put her hands on her hips and growled. “Maybe you need to be more careful where you're walking, Jake. That was pretty clumsy of you."

  Morgan grabbed Jesse and pulled her to the side. Jesse tried to wrench her arm free, but Morgan switched hands and grabbed Jesse's neck with her free right hand, hard enough to get her full attention. She leaned over and whispered. “Stand still and let someone else fight your battles for once. People saw what he did.

  Now stop."

  Jesse couldn't pry Morgan's fingers off her neck, so she waited while Mary stared Tate down. A woman—Jesse assumed it was his wife—stepped up and curled her arm around his. “Let's go, Honey.

  We have to pick up the boys in a few minutes."

  Tate switched his stare to Jesse, who stared back, eyes full of hate. He allowed his wife to escort him out, and as they walked through the crowd, Jesse noticed people turning their backs on him and shaking their heads. Once Tate and his wife were out the door, the buzz in the room returned to the low hum of easy conversation typical among a group of old friends.

  Frieda, who'd catered the meeting from the café, picked up Jesse's plate and held it out. “Here you go, Honey. What else can I get you?"

  Jesse blinked and looked down at the plate. She took it and mumbled. “Nothing else, thanks."

  Morgan released her hold and patted her on the shoulders. “I wouldn't have believed it three months ago, but you're almost as trainable as my hounds."

  Jesse shrugged away from her and took her plate to sit in a chair where she could put her back up against the wall. She leaned back and studied Mary, who'd resumed her discussion with Morgan. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Ryland watching her. She blushed when Ryland smiled and winked at her, and she picked up a piece of Kiwi and shoved it into her mouth.

  Frieda brought a plate and sat next to her. "It's no wonder that Cody boy works for Tate; they're two peas from the same pod."

  Not good at small talk, Jesse shrugged.

  Frieda popped a grape into her
mouth and a huge grin spread across her face. "I was watchin' you after you came in with Ms.

  Davis. I almost burst out laughin' when Miss Jo started talkin' 'bout that dog and I heard you take the Lord's name in vain. I wished you coulda’ seen the comical look Ms. Davis and Dr. Caldwell exchanged behind your back after Ms. Davis tol' Miss Jo to continue. It was priceless." She put her head back and laughed, and Jesse smiled down at her plate.

  Frieda laughed some more, then said. “I do believe that's the first smile I've ever seen you give. It's right pretty; I don't know why you don't use it more."

  Jesse shrugged again and finished the last of her fruit. She got up and started to leave, then turned back to Frieda. “See you around."

  "I'm sure I'll see you in the café. You take care now, and I surely enjoyed chattin' with ya."

  Jesse went outside and slid down the wall to wait for Morgan and Ryland to finish visiting. Morgan came out soon after and looked around. She didn't see Jesse in the shadows so she started down the street toward Harley's.

  "Hey."

  Morgan didn't hear her, so Jesse ran up next to her. “So where we goin'?"

  Morgan stopped and laughed. “Keeping an eye on you is harder than holding on to a raw oyster. Go wait in the truck and I'll get Ryland."

  When they turned back, Jesse noticed Mary watching them from the doorway. She put her hands in her pockets and walked to the truck, suddenly self-conscious and shy. She hadn't felt that way in years, and she was surprised to be feeling it now. She climbed into the bed of the truck and didn't have long to wait before Morgan and Ryland returned.

  Ryland opened the passenger door. “Come on, you'll freeze back there."

  "I'm fine."

  Morgan took off her jacket and tossed it to Jesse. “You're stubborn is what you are; I would hardly call you fine." She jumped in the driver's side and Ryland climbed in on her side and shut the door. Jesse made herself comfortable in the back and enjoyed the twenty-minute ride back to the farm.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  At three-thirty the next day, a red convertible pulled up in front of the barn. Jesse was sitting outside on the bale of hay, and Sandra walked over.

  "I know I'm a little early, but I dropped my friend off at the airport and decided to come get you before I went home."

  "That's all right; you ready to go?"

  Sandra rubbed the back of her tight jeans. "I've been ready for a while."

  Morgan came around the barn just as Jesse opened the passenger door.

  "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where do you think you're going?"

  "It's my day off." Jesse put one foot on the floor board and waited.

  Morgan walked up to Sandra and held out her hand. "Sandra, good to see you again. How's James?"

  Sandra took Morgan's hand and greeted her warmly. “Well, hello Morgan. James is just fine. He's on a business trip to New York, and Jesse and I are on our way to my house to have some dinner."

  Morgan looked from Sandra to Jesse. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn't care what two consenting adults did, but these weren't normal circumstances. "Would you mind waiting here a second?" She didn't wait for an answer, but instead walked into the barn and called the house.

  When Ryland answered, Morgan said, “Sandra Adams is here to pick up Jesse and the two of them are headed to her house to have some dinner. Her husband's out of town in New York."

  Morgan had told Ryland all about their meeting with the Adams.

  Ryland was adamant. “Absolutely not. Not at this stage of the game. No."

  "How do you really feel about it?"

  "Do you need me to come down to the barn?"

  "No, I'll handle it. I just wanted to know if my gut instinct was correct. Thanks."

  When Morgan came out of the barn, Sandra said, “I don't know what the problem is. I've made a wonderful roast and thought Jesse would enjoy sharing it with me. I get so lonely when James is out of town."

  "I'm sorry, Sandra. I was just checking on some extra work we have in the barn. I can't really spare Jesse tonight, but it was very nice of you to think of her."

  Jesse knew Morgan had gone in to call Ryland, and if she was honest with herself, she'd been nervous her mind might start playing games at Sandra's house and she'd really be screwed.

  Morgan expected an angry confrontation with Jesse, and she stood with her hands on her hips, ready for anything.

  "We'll only be a couple hours, Morgan. I'm sure you can spare her just that tiny bit of time."

  Jesse stepped back and shut the car door. "Look Sandra, she's my boss. If she says I need to stay, then I probably need to stay.

  Can we get together some other time?"

  Morgan was completely taken aback. Jesse had never sided with her on anything.

  Sandra shook her head. “No, Jesse. We arranged this yesterday. She can't take your day off away from you." The way she held her bottom lip reminded Jesse of a petulant child.

  Jesse didn't want to ruin the hunt club's chances for riding on the Adams' land, and she had been looking forward to some casual diversion with Sandra. "Tell you what—why don't I give you that tour of the barn you were talking about yesterday, and when we're done, I'll finish the work Morgan has for me?"

  Sandra's face brightened. “I'd love to see your barn. That's a wonderful compromise, don't you think, Morgan?"

  Morgan raised her eyebrows. “Wonderful."

  As Jesse and Sandra walked past, Jesse slowed and said quietly so only Morgan could hear, “See that 'Do not disturb' sign on the door?" She continued walking and Morgan reached out and swatted her on the back of the head.

  "I see it; I see it." Morgan chuckled as she watched them walk into the barn. When she turned around, she saw Ryland walking down the path. "Uh oh." She stood with her hands in her pockets waiting for Ryland to reach her.

  "Why is Sandra's car still here?"

  "We compromised."

  "You compromised."

  Morgan rocked back and forth on her heels, hands still in her pockets.

  Ryland looked at the barn door, then back at Morgan.

  "Morgan, this is not a good time."

  Morgan nodded.

  "Fine. If you can't tell her, I will."

  She started past Morgan, who put her arm out and stopped her.

  Morgan asked, “Haven't you heard that old saying?"

  Ryland crossed her arms. “All right, I'll bite. What old saying?"

  "When the barn's a'rockin' don't come a'knockin'." She smiled at Ryland, who rolled her eyes. Morgan said, “Look, I'll stay down here at the kennels a while, then I'll kick Sandra out. If Jesse has problems, I'll be right here."

  Ryland sighed. “Just make sure you bring Jesse up to the house with you. I don't trust her not to take off again like last night." She reached up and kissed Morgan on the cheek. "You'd better watch out or your reputation as an ogre might get tarnished."

  Morgan watched Ryland walk back up the path, then went back to the kennels. She had a couple of hounds in sickbay, and this would give her some extra time to spoil them.

  An hour after she'd gone to the kennels, Morgan heard Sandra’s car drive away from the barn. She walked around front and found Jesse sitting on the bale of hay. "So, did she like the barn?"

  Jesse picked up a stalk of hay and broke it into smaller pieces.

  “She was really impressed." She raised her eyebrows. “I mean really impressed."

  Morgan held up her hands. “Spare me the details—and by the way, you owe me one. Now let's get up to the house before Ryland blows a gasket. She's called the kennels about five times already."

  They walked up the path and found Ryland sitting on one of the benches. She got up as they approached, put her arm around Morgan's waist and started walking with them. "I've got dinner ready and waiting."

  Jesse smiled. “Already ate."

  Ryland stopped, mouth open, hands on her hips. "Jesse Shaunessy, I do not believe you just said that!"

  Jesse kep
t walking and Morgan stuffed her hands in her pockets again. Ryland turned toward the barn, then turned back to her friend. “Morgan—"

  Morgan wisely kept her mouth shut and Ryland laughed at the twinkle in her friend's eyes as she slipped her arm around her waist and they followed Jesse into the house.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Jesse stood in the guest bedroom with her shirt off, her back to the full-length mirror. It bothered her that she'd never seen the scars before, how her mind could have hidden such a tangled web.

  Between the burn marks and other scars she didn't remember getting, there wasn't an undamaged piece of skin.

  Dark shadows hung in the corners of the quiet house as Jesse slipped on her shirt and made her way through the living room and out onto the porch. She sat on the steps and leaned against the railing, running her hands over her face and arms, trying to feel anything that didn't belong. What other scars did she have that she didn't know about? That she couldn't see?

  Movement caught her eye, and she watched as an older truck drove slowly down the main road, its headlights off. She pushed off the steps and walked toward the barn, making her way through the trees instead of using the path. Fallen branches littered the ground, and she stepped carefully around them, not wanting to make any noise.

  The barn was to her left, the road to the right. Keeping to the tree line, she moved right, stopping behind each tree to listen for any night sound that didn't belong. There—movement between her and the road. The moon shadows concealed her and she watched as Cody made his way toward the barn. He was good, his steps careful and silent as he followed a trail familiar to him. He passed close by her tree, and she stopped breathing and made herself look at the ground so the whites of her eyes wouldn't give her away.